Jam the System

Here's where we stand; junk mail arrived in you mailbox, you wasted your time opening it, and now you've got a handful of crap. You've got credit card applications, or invitations to test drive a car, or something equally useless. What are you going to do with them? Throw them away? Some have data that you'd rather keep private. Do you shred them? Burn them? Both equally bad for the environment, and you're still holding a handful of crap. So, what do you do?
Look at it this way - the ball is in your court. You've got the initiative now. And, you've probably got a pre-paid envelope in that mess of waste.

The key to making this prank work and sending a clear message of disapproval is in the upper right corner of the envelope.

That little black box is your ticket to success. The metered mark isn't pre-paid in the same way that a stamp is pre-paid. The Direct-Mailer hasn't paid a dime beyond printing costs on that envelope. When the Post Office gets it in the mail again, they log the account and charge him or her for the return postage. If you throw it away, they don't get charged.

     You've got ammunition to hit the Direct-Mailer in the pocketbook now, and there's nothing stopping you from doing just that. Take those pre-paid envelopes, and fill them with all the pulp ads from the local grocer. They need to know about the $1.59 / lb special on seedless grapes just as much as you do. Weight's the thing: cram as many ounces in there as the envelope will take. Just don't put anything dangerous inside! (Here's a list of forbidden items from the US Postal Service). The idea is to inconvenience the bulk-mailer as much as possible, not to endanger the mail carrier.
     Be sure to savor the irony like a fine wine. Or, if wine isn't your thing, savor your thing.
     A few other steps...
     Mark out all of the machine sorting barcodes from the envelope. These are what qualify the bulk mailers for discount rates, and you may be able to get them hit with extra fees. I don't know about that one - but I mark them out on general principle because they may include tracking information and I prefer to be an anonymous bandito. Some of the barcodes or numbers on the envelope may identify you. Be sure to remove them. And, tear out your name and address information from any pre-filled forms inside. There may be threats on the envelope: IGNORE THEM.

This code has been altered. It's an example of the tracking data on the envelopes.

Do the exact opposite of what they want.

And, be sure to take all information with your address, name, and especially account number out of the envelope.

     Also, write "Hand Sort" up by the metering mark; that's another fee for the Direct Mailer to eat up (either 12 cents or 5.5 cents, depending).
     If the mail service hits them for all the fees they're due (multi-ounce weight, improper machine coding, and hand sorting) you can make a sizeable dent in their operating margin. If enough people start doing this, direct mail will cease.
     If you're more passively inclined, there are other ways to deal with unwanted mailings. Check out the industry website to get off the mailing lists. Or, you can call the following tollfree number to be removed: 1-888-5optout (1-888-567-8688).
    Or, for specific offenders, you can sic the Feds on them. Using Form 2150 or Form 1500 (Application for Listing and/or Prohibitory Order). and a sample piece of the offending mail, you can have it declared pornographic. Just send the two items to the Prohibitory Order Processing Center, US Postal Service, Post Office Box 3744, Memphis TN 38173-0744.

Submit your own pictures or go see photos that have been sent to me in the Gallery.

On a related subject, I never thought I'd say this, but I respect a program Microsoft is working on. The PennyBlack concept is a way to make e-mail spammers pay for sending out bulkmail. I think it's a noble effort, and I think funding it is a giant act of good citizenship and self interest rolled into one.
Personally, I'd like an e-mail account similar to Google's G-Mail where you can create an "invited" list of people who can send you free messages. Anyone else could write the account by pre-paying the account provider two cents a message (half goes to them, half goes to you for suffering it in your box). I don't see any barrier to setting something like this up, but I claim a 10% stake if any of you readers want to give it a try (on the premise of 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration). Do I actually have readers?